Darn,it's just the third week of school term and i'm already feeling the exhaustion.Being at home before 6pm has never seemed such a mammoth task,and laying on my bed has never felt this good.It has come to the point whereby i'm actually feeling relief when i finally lay this drained body to rest.

And i really do feel like giving up in so many things,life is really a bed of thorns right now.One thing i'd love to give up right now,is volleyball.Right from the start i knew the team was crap,but it never crossed my mind that after a year,we're still crap.

Maybe emmanuel was right,i shouldn't even have harboured any hopes in this team,cause they're mainly two category of people here.The first category,people who have the heart to train,but just lack the talent.And people,who basically lack talent,and the heart to train.

Why would i bother harbouring any hopes in this team?I guess it goes back to secondary school,being part of a basketball team which has an average height of 165,and no playing experience at all.A great resemblance to the current team i'm in right now.I still vaguely remembered my coach's face when we started off our first training,well it's not that difficult to recall considering the only thing you'd feel watching us train would be this thing called "disgust"
(Another similarity to the volleyball team)

And there was something i remembered till today,my coach mentioned something that made loads of sense."You guys may be short,and have lesser talent than other teams in basketball.It doesn't matter,what matters is that you train even harder than them to make up for it."
With that,began the torturous training sessions,where we worked our limbs till they could no longer move.Our skins barbequed under the unforgiving scorching sun,and our jerseys soaked with sweat to the point when it actually weights down on your tired shoulders.Rain or shine we trained as hard,and despite all those rigorous training,we turned up faithfully every training session.

Our team had a common mentality,it's ok if we don't win,cause we know our own capabilities.But its not ok,to get tossed aside,trampled all over,and humiliated.It's alright to lose,when at the end of the game,they celebrate a victory which they had to fight hard for.It's alright to lose,when you know you have trained and done your very best.But it's not ok to lose,when you're tossed aside,and trampled on.When you lose all dignity,with your heads hung low,knowing you got this coming.

In this volleyball team,i see nothing.There is no fighting spirit,and there is no team spirit.A mere few with the hearts to play,and the rest just there...there to fill the numbers.I just wish i could walk away without feeling guilt,and without feeling like i've spat on my own principles.I hate walking away,cause i hate giving up.To me giving up and taking the easy way out are for losers who just can't see effort and perserverence is everything.

I learnt from her lots of things,and reinforced my mentality.The day she walked away,leaving and escaping the problems,was the day i told myself that i should never give up,nor walk away."What have you learnt there at volleyball?You've learnt nothing!" as he encouraged me to quit.Rebuttals flooded through my mind,but non came out cause a part of me felt he was right.I pondered bout it the whole night,and i finally came to a conclusion..
If i quit now,then it'd show i've truly learnt nothing at all...